The Field is My Sanctuary
By: Greg Winkler
Published: Soccer Journal April 2024
A coaching colleague pulled his car up to the practice field after a tough day of teaching. We share our field for after-school practices. My team is loosening up, and I watch as he walks across the field to where his girls are starting to prepare for the afternoon session. There is a scowl on his face, and I feel and I see no joy coming from him. I observed this same behavior three more days in a row. I am concerned. He is a 1st-year varsity coach, and I have been his mentor as he navigates his first season at the helm.
Finally, on the fifth day, I stopped and hugged him. I ask him what is causing this negative aura around him. He should be joyful and excited; he has a great group of young women to work with, and that alone should make him smile. He explains that the burdens of teaching, the overcrowded classes, and the behaviors that he deals with daily suck the life out of him.
I tell him to remember out here on the pitch, we love him. His girls love him, and he needs to mirror that love by bringing out his best. We hug again, and he heads to the team with a lighter gait.
We talked later that evening, and I empathized with his struggle. I taught for 24 years in a large high school with unreasonable expectations and often micromanaging supervisors. My current position is at a small public charter school, and it’s like teaching heaven. I know what his day is like. My advice to him was to treat the opportunity to coach and the ability to come to the field every day as his sanctuary.
It is OK to be grumpy as you leave the school and get in your vehicle to drive to the fields, but once you shut that car door and step on the field, leave the baggage at the gate. Leave all that negativity and anger at the gate or in your car. These players want to be here; they love you as their coach, and they deserve nothing but your best. He said he never thought about it like that and did some mid-season reflection.
In the following weeks, I saw a new coach coming on the field for practice. Most days, we shared a smile and a hug on his way to his session. A transformation had taken place.
He told me that my advice about the field being his sanctuary changed his perception and the way he coached. He called me his Yoda, and I was happy to see this young Jedi feel the force.
I have shared that advice with my high school players for three decades. When I coach the little kickers, those elementary-aged players are always excited and happy to get to the fields. The joy that comes from them makes everyone around them smile. As they hit middle and high school, some players bring an invisible backpack of worry as they practice. They are moody, play angry, or sulk through the entire practice.
Those players always get extra “coach” time at the end of practice. Sometimes, they share the issue causing the excess weight that day, and sometimes, they don’t. We discuss what they must do with that “backpack” of burden. We talk about the sanctuary of the pitch. Once they cross that white line of the field or walk into the park, they will leave that backpack there. Nothing that will negatively affect their play is allowed on the field.
They are young men and women; they are struggling with life. These moments will return, and reminders may be needed. If they play for me, they learn the lesson that we keep our troubles away from the team. There can be a time and place for those conversations; some are above my pay grade. We can provide help for those as well.
The soccer solution can become a life solution. When things go sideways in my personal life, even with as many trips around the sun as I have made, those issues do not affect my classroom or practice sessions. A coach I had as a youth provided me with that strategy, and hopefully, I can continue to pass that on.
The field is your sanctuary; nothing should take that JOY away from you or your team.
Keep on Kick’in
Greg has been coaching club and/or high school soccer since 1984. He has authored, “The Transformational Coach” and “Coaching a Season of Significance.”
Motivational Monday w/Coach Winkler
Uncoachable Kids
By: Coach Greg Winkler
“Uncoachable kids become unemployable adults. Let your kids get used to someone being tough on them. It’s life – get over it.”
Patrick Murphy – Alabama Women’s Softball Coach
As a youth coach, I hope this quote was from a collegiate perspective, not a youth perspective.
Why am I writing this article? A U13 youth coach posted this quote on a social media site. This coach used this reference to defend poor coaching behavior with a youth team of 11 and 12-year-old players.
I do not go around with my head in the sand; I know a segment of our population would agree with this mentality, but as a youth and high school coach for over 40+ years, I’m afraid I have to disagree.
As a parent, what do you want from your child’s youth athletic experience? Are you hoping the coach “toughens” your child up, or are you looking for a coach that teaches them to love the game you signed them up for? Are you hoping your child’s participation is memorable and teaches them teamwork? Do you want your child’s youth sport experience to create life-long friendships and memories? Or are you looking for trophies and college scholarships?
Do you want a coach who plays to win and sacrifices development for 12-year-old victories – or a coach who loves the game and is encouraging to all players? Do you have the attitude at the youth level that when negative things happen in life, your child (emphasis on the child) needs to “get over it”?
Youth coaches, regardless of the level at which their teams compete, should be focused on building relationships, always be enthusiastic and be positive, irrespective of the contest’s outcome. Players who are treated positively and encouraged will respect the coach, and because they respect their coach, they will listen, give their best, and enjoy the activity.
The best coaches, at the highest levels, have the respect of their players. The players respect them because of the relationships that have been formed. There is no respect when players believe they are just a tool for the coach’s ego. When players know their coaches care about them, they will run through walls for them. They will give their best – they will compete.
We are looking at this quote the wrong way. What makes a child “uncoachable?” Is it because the player is selfish? Does the young player not listen? Does the player do whatever they want? What behaviors are we allowing in practice or at home? What does “uncoachable” look like? This article could go in many directions, but I will focus on what we can do as coaches so we do not have “uncoachable” players.
Coaching should always be about the players. The coach’s job is to instill a love for the game at every level. Coaches should be enthusiastic and positive when coaching youth and high school players. When we coach with an attitude of a growth mindset, we look at how we can help our players learn from mistakes. There will always be a lesson in defeat, and we often forget to look for lessons in victory. Winning is important, but frequently, how we handle our victories and losses can emphasize the lessons we are attempting to teach our young players.
Respect is earned by caring about the players we coach. Some people consider this quote a license to yell and scream at young players. Being “tough” on a player does not mean yelling and screaming on the sideline is a permissible behavior. It is talking about accountability. A coach can expect a level of performance without that expectation becoming a negative experience.
Suppose your coach is yelling and screaming at your child from the sideline. If your coach is more concerned about winning than your child’s development, maybe it is not your child who is “uncoachable.”
How do you feel if you go to work every day and your boss yells at you constantly for the job you are trying to do? What is your attitude like? What level of performance are you going to have? That is not a positive environment for you – so why do we think that is an environment that is character-building for our child?
We should never use the phrase – “That’s life – get over it!” with our children.
Coach Winkler, author of “The Transformational Coach” and “Coaching a Season of Significance” was the 2012 United Soccer Coaches Youth Coach of the Year. He is a member of the Wisconsin Soccer Hall of Fame and United Soccer Coaches 2020 Florida High School Coach of Significance recipient.
Florida: Where Diversity, Equity & Inclusion, go to die.
Let’s visit Mr. Peabody’s Wayback Time Machine and travel back to February 28, 2023. The New College of Florida had fired their college president, and a new president, installed by the Florida Governor with a $400,000 raise, banned diversity statements and all programming.
This change was because of the Governor’s “Stop Woke Act,” signed in 2022. This deplorable bill bans public educators from teaching about a person’s status as privileged or oppressed as it relates to their race, sex, or national origin. This bill will limit educators at public educational institutions from discussing topics related to “identity politics,” including African American studies and gender issues.
This action in 2023 barely made a blimp on the radar screen at New College of Florida with a student population of approximately 700 students. That brings us to March of 2024, now the University of Florida (UF), has eliminated the office of DEI to comply with state regulations. In January 2024, the Florida Board of Governors voted to ban state spending on all diversity, equity, and inclusion programs. The Governor has proclaimed that DEI programs are “A distraction from the core mission” of public universities. (Which causes one to wonder – what is the core mission of Florida public universities?)
What is DEI? There are four parts to DEI; they are often mentioned together, but each part is essential and unique.
- Diversity refers to a wide range of groups within a community. I was a member of an advocacy group for a decade, working with various interests. Our team had representation from each ethnicity, religion, and sexual orientation, and we were open to any group that sought a voice. This group became very powerful because of the experiences and backgrounds that each member brought to the table. We are better when we listen and learn from each other.
- Inclusion allows active engagement from everyone. Every voice is heard.
- Equity is those members’ fair and just treatment regardless of how they identify.
- Belonging. We all want to belong. When you feel like you can express who you are no matter how different you may be from those around you. That is how we succeed.
Coaching has taught me much throughout my career. Whenever I added diversity to my staff, we open up to different perspectives and ideas. Our players have role models that look like them. When I can get each team member to feel like they belong, they feel appreciated, and that is when we collectively have our greatest success.
These DEI programs that are being eliminated from our public universities will have a devastating effect on Florida. Once these programs are eliminated, academic performance, the mental health of our young people, and the personal safety of our most vulnerable students will be at risk. Our best and brightest students will start to look out of state for higher educational opportunities.
My bold prediction for Florida is dire. With UF, a school of 61,000 students, eliminating its DEI department and all DEI programs, they are setting the standard, and you will see every public university in Florida follow suit. Those universities that want to take a stand will see their funding cut or the Governor’s office will come in and take over as they did with New College.
It will not stop there. The public-school system will be next. According to the 2021 State of Florida census, 51% of the state is White, 26% African American, 15% Hispanic/Latino, 6% Asian, and 7% others.
Every person should have a voice. We are more robust as a community and nation when everyone feels they belong. Does eliminating DEI within our public institutions make us a better state? I would argue it will move us backwards.
Welcome To Florida (WTF) 